Best Man Speech Funny & Inspirational -- Marriage

I am going to keep this speech fairly short because of my throat, Pooja say that if I made fun of the groom too much she would have it off it.Pooja, you look absolutely gorgeous radiant. I saw Salim swell with fleece when he saw you today. He is truly a lucky universe to have someone so attractive, intelligent, warm and caring. A wife who willing be all he could ever wish for, and more. And my little fellowwell well youve finally done it after 30 age of deceaseless soulsearching youve finally taken the plunge and admitted that I am sincerely the best man. Thank you for giving in. Its been a long crusade and the best man has won. And now I hope you dont mind if I kick you while youre down Ive been waiting for this chance for 30 historic period, and have been building up a portfolio of all the crude, rude and lewd things Salim got up to over the years. So.. we have a bald film marquer and a short lawyer getting marry a comedians dream but I promised salim that I wou ldnt honour the word short or bald in this speech plus, pooja is actually quite tall for a 7 year old Anyways allow me tell you a little story it begins about 5 years ago A day Ill always remember when Priten, Poojas brother, came home to a party which my sister Tasreen held, with his two lifelong loves Pooja and a bottle of Jack Daniels. We all thought that Pooja was his girlfriend, but as the wickedness progressed, we noticed Priten paying much more attention to Jack and Pooja was left(p) unattended sitting on the balcony stairs Salim came onto the scene, baseball cap cautiously placed to cover his bald spot, surveyed the terrain and pounced on the stair next to Pooj Pooja was shock hi Salim said, you have really nice feet Poojas startled... ...ratulations on the line of your isolation, and may I express my appreciation of your determination to end the desparation and thwarting that has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make this unificati on and bring an accumulation to the population. So as I end my toast to this occasion, and wrap up my salutation, I raise my glass to this combination, and cry good luck to the consummation So cheers, and on with the celebrationNow, Id like to think that Salim chose Sachin and me to be joint best men so that we could both be by his side on his conjoin day. But I really think that he only picked us for the wedding photos. Me, so hed look slimmer, and Sachin, so hed look taller. You see what I mean in a moment Sachen has been Salims oldest friend, and is an honorary Keshavjee and has a few words to say over to you Sachin